The Inequality of Learning
 |
| Mistakes Happen |
Learning is learning
Everyone has their areas in which the learning comes more naturally to them,
and areas which are more difficult. This is commonly stated and commonly
understood. Some pick up language easily, while others excel in math or sports.
Asynchronistic development is what makes us who we are; great at some things
and working on others.
Many have stated that, “All behavior is communication”
So it is up to us to stop and listen to what
is being said if we are to help others. Unfortunately, there seems be erroneous
misperceptions of many children’s behavior. Most would agree that learning
takes place through making mistakes, and that learning is often a process.
However, we tend to lump learning into two categories; acceptable mistakes in
which we are patient and understanding of the learning process (i.e. a child
learning to tie his shoes or learning to read), and unacceptable mistakes in
which we assume that the child should learn immediately (social and emotional
learning).
Academic or ability learning is not connected to societal mores
It therefore does not cause emotional discomfort in others. But, social and emotional errors
by children are stigmatized and taken as a reflection on others. Parents and
teachers may feel judged by others who may blame them for not being able to
control a child who is learning emotional regulation. Peers may shun another
child learning social skills because the child was labeled as “weird” by
classmates. They may feel that they will be labeled as well by associating with
a child who is learning social rules and contexts. The avoidance of
embarrassment or discomfort on the part of others often stands in the way of
patience and understanding of the learning process that needs to take place for
these children. We just want them to change their behavior right away!
The prevalence rate of
ASD diagnoses has been continuously on the rise
ASD is presently identified in 1 in every 68 children. As a society,
we need to take the reflective emotions out of the picture. We need to take a
humanistic approach to these children and allow them to learn with patience,
guidance, love, and support; just like we do in the areas of academic and
abilities learning.
We need to understand
that social and emotional learning is
learning
Children learning these skills will make mistakes and will need practice to acquire successful understanding. Often in the domain of social-emotional learning, children are given a social
rule with the expectation that they should immediately follow it. But that is not how children learn.
Just like telling a young child, “Billy, you need to keep our shoes tied” won’t
help him to keep his shoes tied. He needs to be shown HOW to keep his shoe tied and WHY
it is important to tie them. He needs to have pre-requisite skills and lots
of practice. Nobody would expect a child to read a Harry Potter book before
learning his alphabet. So why do we unrealistically expect a child to
understand implied meaning if they avoid looking at others and miss facial
expressions and body language? When they make an observation such as, “hey,
that lady is old”, why do we think that they are going to stop if we tell them
that it is not polite to talk about someone’s age? They know that kids talk
about their age all the time.
Contexts for rules helps with concept acquisition and generalization
Rules need to be given
within boundaries, and the reasons for the rules and contexts need to be
discussed for deeper social understanding and generalization to take place. Social
learning is tough. There are many rules and contexts to take into
consideration. Rules change depending on the age of the child, their gender,
the people they are with, and where they are at. Children need to take in and
process what they see and hear, and join that together with what they remember
from previous experiences, so they can to make an informed decision on how to
interact in a given situation. It takes “social analysis”.
Allowing all children to learn
All children have areas
in which they excel and areas in which they need further support. Let’s let ALL children learn in a safe
environment; safe from judgment, anxiety, rejection, and punishment. Safe to
make mistakes and to be accepted while learning takes place. Safe to be valued
as a whole person…no different from you or me.
